clout_kingdomfandomcom-20200213-history
The Hammening
The Hammening was an event that directly followed the Computer Scandal in which the BHS Class of 2017 completely fucking obliterated SSH 138. The Story Following hot on the heels of the SSH 138 PC's destruction, the BHS Class of 2017 sensed weakness, and went for the throat, capitalizing on their opportunity of major fuckery in an incredible way; by tearing everything in it to pieces. Many teachers headed SSH 138, but every period, the one who was there left to go teach and a new one with a free period would take their place. It was a rare occasion that no teacher followed the one who left, but it was not unheard of, and on one of these periods the Class of 2017 struck with venom and vigor. What Happened? Though it is nearly impossible to track just how much chaos was caused that day, many minds remember many things, and most, if not all of them, are depicted below. * A metal beam was ripped off of the wall and used to smash both the tables and the chairs. It was then used as a projectile, nearly injuring several students and leaving an enormous dent in the door leading to the library * An old, smelly ham wrap was brought from the cafeteria and whipped full speed at the clock above the entrance door, making the entire room smell like ham and leaving a permanent stain on the clock's face * The label maker was used once again to make labels with various expletives that were placed throughout the room, some examples of which were "FAT DYKES", "HEAPHY IS GAY" and "FUCK YOU CUNT" - all of which were placed in inconspicuous locations and were not found until weeks after the incident * An enormous double decker ham sandwich and a pint of milk were stuffed into a hole in the wall that presumably supposed to be used for electrical access * Plastic bolt protectors that were anchored at the base of the table legs were ripped off and strewn throughout the room * Toothpaste was splattered upon the window next to the door and smeared on the walls * Ham was shoved into the pencil sharpener, followed by a pencil; the pencil was then sharpened alongside the ham * At least two school-issued iPads were broken * The room's PC was decimated in full, akin to the previous event * Both the trash can and the recycling bins were filled with paper and then dumped on the floor * Several oranges were thrown, exploding on impact * Three chairs were nearly removed entirely from their anchor points, and one was split open * Several unknown cords under the carpeting were sliced and covered in gum * One table was loosened from its anchor points and wobbled for the rest of the year, causing many a basketball student to lose playing cards underneath it * An open water bottle was exploded against a wall, sending water everywhere and soaking several. A second water bottle was dumped on to the ramp that led to Computer Room 136. See Water Bottle Blitz for more information. * Chip crumbs were dumped in the PC teacher's chair * Several nasty Yu-Gi-Oh duels were fought, rupturing the space time continuum with autistic screeches * A fight club was nearly started by the most unruly students in the north east corner of the room * Dozens of hands of Tonk and Dominoes were played by the drug dealers and the gambling addicts, lowering the net worth of the school directly * Loud Nigra was blasted at maximum volume through the projector screen's attached speakers for two minutes straight * Dozens of students ripped ass loudly When a teacher finally came to oversee the damages, he was stopped in his tracks by ham juice dripping off of the clock face, landing squarely on to his bald head. What Was Done in Response? Hilariously enough, regardless of the damages inflicted upon the room, the teachers did nothing to restrain the liberties of the students further, and in fact some teachers stopped enforcing some of these restrictions post-Hammening. Despite the Class of 2017 assuming further weakness of the teachers, some speculated that the teachers actually showed restraint, as they truly could have exacted true vengeance in response to this destruction. It was later realized that, had they responded with a revenge play, the Class would have just clapped back harder, and the teachers knew this from the get go. It was for this reason that the Class did not go further. Some say that the Class of 2017 was lame because they did not perform a senior prank. Those who were present to the Hammening know this to be false.